Survivor (post 1 of 3)

I generally stay away from political issues or hot topics since generally people have their own opinions and are very strong about it and I do not like to argue nor stir waters.  But my heart has been calling me to write this or otherwise it will explode. So here it is.  You can read it or not.  

This is my story.

I was known as the ugliest baby in my quaint Korean village, a village that as full of rice patties, small mountains and American Service men.   My sister used to tell me that I was so ugly that she could not look at me without throwing up.  (no she was not being mean she was telling the truth)  I was so hard to look at that my mom had to put a curtain around me so no one would have to look at me.  You see I was aborted.  I was 7 months old when my oma (Korean word for mom) decided to abort me.  

You can argue if anyone had reason or right to have an abortion, my oma would fit the requirement and beyond.  She was a prostitute (of no choice of her own) with 2 other children and along with that life was alcohol and drugs.  She was really hoping that my father would marry her and bring all of us to America.  I was their ticket.  But when my biological father found out she had 2 other children, children that were not his, he said no.  He was going back to America and he was going alone.  She was devasted.  How was she going to take care of 3 kids now,  when she was having hard enough time with 2. Who is going to want to marry a women with 3 kids?  So as fear ruled she made the painful decision to abort me.

The method that was used in a little hut in a small village in South Korea is called Saline Solution abortion.  Let me explain what that means:

The saline abortion procedure can only be done at 16 weeks or later when enough fluid is in the amniotic sac surrounding the baby. A long needle is inserted through the mother’s abdomen and the wall of the uterus into the amniotic cavity. As much amniotic fluid as possible, usually about one cup, is withdrawn. Then, a small dose of saline solution is injected. If the woman doesn’t experience any immediate signs of allergic reaction or rejection, the remaining solution is injected into the amniotic sac.

After the toxic mixture is injected, the baby swallows the salt solution and is poisoned and their skin burned. After suffering for 1 to 1.5 hours, the baby’s heartbeat stops. The corrosive effect of the salt solution burns the lungs and strips away the outer layer of the baby’s skin. The mother goes through labor and soon delivers a burned, shriveled and dead baby. The abortion, in medical terms, is considered a success. (you can see more here)

But for me it was a failure.  I came out crying and screaming. The Doctor told oma not to worry about it, I would die soon enough.  And he just put me in a corner of the hut.  But I kept crying and screaming.  Oma told me that she could not handle the crying so she decided to keep me and took me home.  The reason I was so ugly is I did not have any hair or skin.  It was all burned off.  My sister told me that  I was red since I did not have any skin and she  could see all of my veins and mu muscles.

I am not telling you this story because I want you to feel sorry for me but I DO want to put a real face behind that baby that we call fetal  tissue .  I am that fetal tissue!  I am that blob that did not have  any rights or was not worthy of anything  or have a way to fight back.  


19 thoughts on “Survivor (post 1 of 3)”

  1. Lori, I’ve heard other pieces of your story but this portion is new to me. You’ve been through so much, and today you are such a great person with grace, strength, peace and joy. I’m so blessed to know you. I can’t wait to see you in TWO DAYS!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lori, thank you for telling a bit of you story. As one who knows you, I must happily confess that the ugly, unwanted blob of tissue you speak of has grown to be a beautiful woman…a wonderful wife & mother, a dynamic, living, encouraging lady who has a transformative effect on all those who’s lives she touches.

    Thank you, & thanks to your mother, who, in the end, chose life for you!

    Life is a beautiful miracle.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lori, I am so lucky and blessed to have you as my friend. You are more than just a friend, perhaps a sister from another mother. You are a great, wonderful person who loves life. You have a great husband and beautiful and handsome kids who embraces you whoever and whatever you’ve been through. I hope that more people can read your story and it will serve as a reminder that abortion is not the solution. Thank you for sharing your story. I love you sistah!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My dear, beautiful friend,

    Through the many conversations we’ve had, you know how I feel, but I think it’s worthwhile to mention it here. Forty-five years ago (actually before time) God knew, among all things, how much you would be needed. Yes, NEEDED. You might not have been WANTED by your mother, but God knew that there would be many lives touched simply by knowing you. Mine is one of those lives. God brought you into my life even before I knew I would need you as my friend. Yes, NEED you as a friend. I wasn’t looking for friends. I didn’t WANT any new friends, yet God brought you into my life because He knew what I would be going through in those ‘dark’ years and how your strength, love, and encouragement would be God’s way of helping me through.

    God’s love never creases to amaze me! He loves us so much that He can bring beauty out of something ugly. I’m so thankful for that ugly baby, burned and red, who would become my friend. My beautiful friend.

    Thank you for sharing your story….it’s time!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lori, you may not remember me but I remember you and your beautiful smile and radiant inner joy. I knew you when I was a young girl (6th grade or so) and attended Evergreen Christian Assembly in Olympia, WA. I had two older sisters. We sang in youth choir under Dennis & Vonda. I would love to reconnect through email! I’m so proud of you for sharing your story; yours is unique and must be heard. God will use your courage beyond your imaginings!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your story is amazing. But anyone that has met you knows you are an amazing person. If this had been the only trial in your life, It would have been enough to justify bitterness and self pity in most. But I know you have faced other trials, as most of us have. The grace and joy you express in the face of these give eloquent voice to your faith. I hope your story helps others see that God has a plan for each and every life He creates and the decision to end that life is not ours to make.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your story is heartbreaking, but YOU are amazing and a woman of absolute beauty-inner and outer. You have my respect and love! Thank you for sharing this. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

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